Four Types of Bonds of Love Between Man and Woman
February 20, 2012 | 
Author 
The world is extremely mysterious. Every day we see many things that we take for granted without knowing how and why this happens. From billions of years people saw apple falling on the ground, yet they never thought why apple falls to the ground and does not go up. Newton for the first time thought, that there must be some force that must be pulling apple down to earth. This thought resulted to the discovery of gravity, the universal force of attraction that existed between all material entities of the universe since its origin. Gradually, scientists also discovered the electrical and magnetic forces between electrical charges and magnetic substances. Yet scientists could never find any satisfactory answer as to why different types of materials attract or repulse?
What is true in the world of particle is also true in the world of living beings. Every specie of the world gets attracted towards the member of opposite sex. Yet hardly any answers as to why it happens. We all as human beings are aware of the force of attraction that pulls us towards each other, yet we can not know why it happens.
The Reason for Attraction
While scientists have no reason to explain why material attracts, yet they have discovered some reason for the attraction between male and female species using the theory of evolution. They believe that the attraction between male and female species in this world is due to their desire to mate so that they reproduce children. These theories are based on the Darwin’s evolution principle as no spies would survive otherwise than reproduction. Yet the answer is incomplete as even after the people have produced the children, the forces of attraction des not diminish.
Studies show that certain physical characteristics stimulate the brain’s hypothalamus, leading to elevated heart rate, perspiration, and feelings of sexual arousal. What leads to this response? Perhaps the most obvious is a youthful appearance, which is linked to reproductive capacity. [Buss, David M. The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating. New York: HarperCollins, 1994] Women are similarly attracted to men for what they have to offer in terms of reproduction.
Yet the dull scientific research always misses the mystery of the universe. What causes heart rate, perspiration and feelings to rise? These actions seem nothing less than a miracle though we know that they happen. Einstein captured these thoughts in the following words
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
The clue to the physical attraction can be found from our knowledge of physics. For example, we all know that opposite charges attract. We know that all materials are neutral in their natural state. However they gets charged when electrons are removed from the material which make them positively charged while the matter having excess electrons are negativity charged. Hence the opposite charges attract so that they can neutralize their charges and come back to their original conditions. Same explanation exists for the magnetic particles.
We can also explain the attractions due to gravity using the same principles as even science believes that all matter and energy were one before the big-bang. Hence all maters seems to attract towards each other to attain the original neutral state of the matter and energy.
Using the same principle, it can be said that perhaps the attraction between the opposite sexes is due to their desire to become one as they were one sometime in past. We call it love as we know that it exists (like gravity) yet we can’t know why it exists. Since every human being is not only a body but also mind, soul and spirit (God), hence four types of love exists between the species of the human race.
1. Physical Bonds: The Basic Instinct
The most primitive and fundamental for of love between male and female is due to the differences in their body. The physical designs are complementary to each other which attracts towards each other. People get satisfaction and pleasure in the company of the person of the opposite sex. Even touch of hand is pleasurable and transmits energy and love. The reason seems to be chemical as the body shows increased flow of body fluids and chemicals when the physical bonding between male and females takes place.
The physical bonding between boy and girl is expressed by Tina Turner is one of the song “What’s Love Got To Do With It” that captured te imagination of billions of people all over the world in the eighties.
You must understand
That the touch of your hand
Makes my pulse react
That it`s only the thrill
Of boy meeting girl
Opposites attract
It`s physical
Only logical
You must try to ignore
That it means more than that
[Chorus]
Oh whats love got to do, got to do with it
What`s love but a second hand emotion
What`s love got to do, got to do with it
Who needs a heart
When a heart can be broken
……………………….
Physical Bonding is the oldest and most fundamental form of love that exits between man and woman. Prostitutions are considered to be the oldest profession of the world that humanity discovered to tap this attraction between male and female.
2. Mental Bonds: Friendship
While the animals find only the physical bonding between the opposite sexes as they fail to raise much above the physical level, male with their increased mental faculty found another form of boding that binds males and females. This bond also exists between the members of same sexes.
Friendship is found between the people having complementary thoughts. In the words of Mencius
“Friendship is one mind in two bodies.”
The mind of every person desires to know what it does not know so as to make itself whole. That knowledge may be living with someone elses mind. The friendship stems from the desire of two people to share their thoughts so that their minds grow and become complete.
The mind of male and females are as complementary as their bodies. Thus every man finds a different way of looking at the world, when he sees the worlds through the eyes of the woman. Thus a man who has good friendship with women is the epitome of “goodness” as his mind is fully grown up. On the contrary, the people who does not have friends in the member of opposite senses, are truly evil without doubt as their view is extremely unbalanced. All dictators and despots never had friendship with women and the list includes Hitler, Stalin and Mao though they had physical bonding with the women. Hence their minds were never truly evolved. The mind of a person can have the satisfaction, tranquility and peace only if it has friends in the members of opposite sex.
3. Emotional Bonding: The Feeling of Love
The most beautiful and powerful relationship that exits between the male and female is emotional. All emotions spring automatically in people due to the desire of souls to become one. The souls of a man and woman are complementary to each other as they originate from the same source. This is not only a philosophical truth but also a physical truth. Hence they always aspire to meet each other so as to balance each other like the opposite electrical charges or magnets of opposite poles.
The emotional bonding between a man and a woman is often so powerful that people even sacrifice their lives or kill themselves in their attempt to become one. Love is often called the fetal attraction as it is responsible for most of the crimes of this world.
Love is like a chemical reaction that transforms the souls of man and woman. People in love are changed from their core due to the transformation of their soul just like hydrogen and oxygen loses their identity when they combine to make the drop of water.
Love alone brings peace and happiness in the life of people which can not be bought with all the wealth of the world.
4. Spiritual Bonding: God in All
Man and woman also share the highest level of spiritual bonds with each other. The spiritual relationship is based on the non-physical relationship between the people. In this type of relationship, people have no expectation from each other as they all seems to merge their identity with God or Holy Spirit that is the origin of all entities of the universe.
The spiritual or nonphysical bonding exists between the people of opposite sexes in many forms. It is manifested in the form of love to mother, love to children, love to siblings and at later stage of the life even between the love of spouse. Spiritual love is the final stage of love between every person when the bonding evolves to its highest level. The seed of this love is always present in the person and it is first manifested in the child with his or her love of mother. Gradually all other forms of love diminish and only the spiritual love remains in the most evolved human beings in this world like Jesus, Buddha or Gandhi. This form of love is truly selfless and unconditional.
The Evolution of Human Bonding
All bonding between human beings can be classified in the four types viz. body, mind, soul and spirit. The journey of life starts from the spiritual bonding of love that alone exists in a child. However as the body, mind and soul of the person grows in this world, the bonding of love gets manifested in different forms. While in case of animals , the bonding hardly crosses the physical level, in man it evolves from physical to mental to emotional and finally takes a full circle and comes back to the level of spiritual level. Spiritual love makes a man divine and integrates him with God so that he achieves his salvation or goal of life. The cycle of life continues till a man realizes his spiritual love with God and man.
Proof of Life After Death
The near-death experience (NDE) is an anomaly that defies the scientific logic of our modern world, and therefore it is often met by skepticism because it makes a case for immortality and the afterlife. This is understandable to me, since before my experience, as an atheist, I would also have been very skeptical of the NDE. If I had known about it then, I would certainly have rejected the reality of the experience on the grounds of lack of solid proof.
A U.S. News & World Report’s poll in 1997 estimated that up to 15 million Americans might have had a near-death experience. The most famous recent case is the near-death experience of ABC anchor, Bob Woodruff, who was almost killed by a roadside bomb in Iraq. He tells us about his experience that,
“I don’t remember hearing it. I remember that I – I went out for a minute. I saw my body floating below me and [a] kind of whiteness. I don’t have much more information than that, whether it was heaven or something. I still don’t know.”
Most scientific studies are done retrospectively many times years after the experience, but recent prospective studies have shown the experience to be scientifically predictable. In 2001, the first prospective study of near-death experiences was published in the international medical journal The Lancet. The study was lead by cardiologist Pim van Lommel, MD, and set up in ten different hospitals in Holland over a period of 13 years. In this time period, 344 patients who had cardiac arrest were successfully resuscitated and they were then shortly after interviewed about their experience of being near to death. The study found that of the 344 patients, 62 patients or 18 percent reported having a near-death experience.
This prospective study gives strong evidence that near-death experiences are not just stories that people make up, but that something does indeed happen to people who come close to death. Still, many experts remain skeptical. One attempt to explain the near-death phenomenon is that the experience is simply due to hallucinations brought on by the loss of oxygen to the brain, which in medical term is called “anoxia.”
However, this explanation is a bit problematic because as we all know people who collapse or faint usually have total blackout or are at least very confused about what happened to them. But the near-death experiencer has a clear consciousness of the event, remembering the episode acutely for many years. So, the big question for the skeptics is; how can people have clear consciousness in a state of cardiac arrest with no brain activity (flat EEG)? Clearly these cases should not be called near death experiences but life after death experiences because people with cardiac arrest are clearly dead with no breathing or heart beat.
The best documented instance of this paradox is the case of Pam Reynolds. In 1991, Reynolds was diagnosed with a brain tumor and had to undergo very complex surgery called “hypothermic cardiac arrest.” This is a procedure where the body temperature is lowered, the heartbeat and breathing stopped, the blood is drained from the body, and the brain waves are totally flat.
From 11:05 a.m. to 12:00 noon, Reynolds was clinically dead with flat EEG during the operation and in this timeframe she had a near-death experience. After coming back she was able to describe the instruments used during the operation and even conversations between the staff in the operating room. Both the instruments used and the conversations was later confirmed by the doctor and nurse.
Furthermore, her ears where plugged with a sound device that would make it impossible for her to hear anything. Dr. Spetzler, who carried out the operation, later said that, “At that stage in the operation, nobody can observe, hear, in that state…I don’t have an explanation for it.” There is no explanation and Pam’s case is one of the strongest signs of life after death that have ever been recorded and monitored by science.
The case of Pam Reynolds is not only a case of clinical death beyond reasonable doubt, but also provides a clear case of “veridical perception,” where things seen or heard by the person during the NDE are later confirmed by others. In the study of veridical perception some studies have shown remarkable results. In one study of 16 cases, 88 percent of perceptions outside the body appeared to be accurate and 31 percent could be confirmed by objective means. In another study involving 93 cases, 92 percent appeared to be completely accurate with 35 percent being confirmed by objective means.
Even with verifiable veridical perception as evidence there will be skeptics, and therefore, I have also examined my own experience from a skeptical point of view. I asked myself whether my episode could not simply be a recreation of input that I had collected subconsciously throughout my life, let us say from movies. But my experience was so real and so far beyond my own sensibilities that I do not see how I could have imagined it.
This is a common conclusion after the experience, and the International Association of Near-Death Studies (IANDS) tells us that people usually report that the experience is “hyper-real” and more real than the life we know in this dimension.
Therefore, I have little doubt about the reality of my experience, and researcher Margot Grey confirms that this is typical: “To the near-death survivor there is seldom any uncertainty.” One of her accounts describes this by saying that “there is no doubt in my mind that what I experienced was real.”
In one study, The Southern California Study, “Ninety-six percent considered the experience real and not a dream, claiming that the contents of the experience were unlike anything they’d ever had in a dream.” One more thing to be said again in this relation is that the sense of realness stays with the experiencer. Usually people are able to recall the experience with perfect clarity many years afterward. In contrast, dreams and illusions are easier forgotten and disregarded as unreal.
This sense that the experience was real is born out by the aftereffects of the NDE, which are often deep and strong. P. M. H. Atwater, found that 79 percent were affected in a profound way, where 60 percent “reported significant life changes,” while 19 percent “noted radical shifts-almost as if they had become another person.”
For me, this is certainly true about my experience also. The direction of my life totally changed after my experience to the extent that I would say I was reborn. Do dreams and hallucinations also have this strong life-changing effect? Having had both, and believing I know the difference, the answer is clearly, no.
Another researcher, Dr. Peter Fenwick tells us that, “[Near-death] experiences have a universal quality. If this were a purely psychological experience, one would expect it to be much more culturally influenced than it seems to be.” This is also the conclusion of Margot Grey, who puts the same point in the following way, “What has clearly emerged is that a common pattern of events, involving a sequence of occurrences that seem to be almost universal in their conformity of content.”
In Lessons from the Light by Kenneth Ring and Evelyn Elsaesser Valarino, Ring writes about his research into near-death experiences with blind people. Skeptics sometimes say that the NDE is created by conditioned images, or even that people must have seen the same movie about near-death experiences. It was this argument that Kenneth Ring wanted to investigate when he started to look for near-death experiences among blind people.
Interestingly, not only did he find that people who had poor eyesight could see clearly during the near-death experience, but he also found that some blind people were able to see for the very first time. In his study Ring found that 80 percent out of thirty-one blind people who had a near-death experience were able to see during their experience.
Vicky, one person who had been completely blind from birth and survived two near-death experiences, explained, “Those two experiences were the only time I could ever relate to seeing, and to what light was, because I experienced it. I was able to see.” Another person, Brad, who had also been blind from birth said, “I know I could see and I was supposed to be blind…It was very clear when I was out. I could see details and everything.”
This gets even more interesting when Ring then wanted to compare their eyeless seeing with their dreams. When asked to compare their near-death experiences to their dreams, both Vicky and Brad answered that there were no similarity at all. The big difference is that blind people do not see things in their dreams like sighted people do.
Vicky tells us that, “I have dreams in which I touch things…I taste things, touch things, hear things and smell things-that’s it.” And when asked whether she was able to see anything at all during her dreams she answers, “Nothing. No color, no sight of any sort, no shadows, no light, no nothing.”
Brad explained the same, “I’ve had the very same consciousness level in my dreams as I’ve had in my waking hours. And that would be that all my senses function…except vision. In my dreams, I have no visual perceptions at all.”
Here are examples of two people who have never been able to see, but in their near-death experience are able to see for the first time. How is it possible for these blind people to transcend the sensory restrictions?
Personally, I have no doubt that life continues after death and that consciousness can exist without the body. I think that the reason we cannot get any solid ‘proof’ is that we do not perceive all of reality. From my experience I am convinced that there is much, much more to reality than what meets the eye. Just as the universe continues beyond what we know, I am also convinced that life does.
William A. Tiller, physicist at Stanford University, has given what I believe to be the correct description of the scenario. “Humans see only a small fraction of the electromagnetic spectrum and hear only a small fraction of the sound spectrum. Perhaps we similarly perceive only a small fraction of a greater reality spectrum.”
Prince Karim Aga Khan – A True Leader of Islam
11th July 2007 marks a landmark in the history of the Ismaili Muslim community, as this day marks the completion of the 50th year of Imamate of the leader of the Ismaili Muslim community, Prince Karim Aga Khan 1V. He is the current (49th) Imam of the Shia Imami Ismaili Muslims. His contribution in the field of education, medicine, architecture, social work, institution building, relief work, etc., is spectacular. He always tried to bring the positive image of Islam in front of others. His attractive personality has influenced many Muslim brothers to work for the welfare of the people. He is the direct descendant of Sir Aga Khan 111, whose contribution for the establishment of Pakistan can never be forgotten.
Prince Karim Aga Khan, the Aga Khan IV is the eldest son of Prince Aly Salman Khan and his wife, Princess Tajudowlah. He was born in Geneva, Switzerland on December 13, 1936. His brother name is Prince Amyn, and sister name is Princess Yasmin Aga Khan. The Aga Khan spent his childhood in Nairobi, Kenya, where his early education was done by private tutoring. The Aga Khan later attended the Institute le Rosey in Switzerland. He graduated from Harvard University in 1959 with a BA Honors Degree in Islamic history. As a modern leader of Islam, he always tried to emphasize to improve the lives of the Muslims.
Following the death of his grandfather, Sultan Muhammad Shah Aga Khan, Prince Karim, at the age of 20, became the 49th Imam of the Shia Ismaili Muslims on 11 July 1957.
Upon becoming the Imam, the Aga Khan stated that he intended to continue the work his grandfather had pursued in building modern institutions to improve the quality of life of the Ismaili community. The main themes that the Aga Khan emphasized are development, education, interracial harmony, and faith in religion. He elaborated on this concept in a 2006 speech in Germany stating,
“The role and responsibility of an Imam, therefore, is both to interpret the faith to the community, and also to do all within his means to improve the quality, and security of their daily lives.” Throughout the early years of his Imamate, the Aga Khan continued his grandfather’s work through the establishment of institutions such as the Aga Khan hospital in Nairobi in 1958, and primary and secondary schools in Kenya, Tanzania, and Uganda in the 1960s, The Aga Khan Hospital in Pakistan, and numerous educational institutions throughout the world. We can say that he is the leader of a common man. He is the King of the Muslim community. He always work for the betterment of the lives of the people of the third world country.
The Aga Khan has been particularly interested in the elimination of global poverty; eradication of illiteracy; the advancement of the status of women; the promotion of Islamic culture, music, art, and architecture, upgrading the economical status of the third world country, etc.
Prince Aga Khan always believes in building bridges between religions. He always tried to restore peace in the world and brought the positive image of Islam in the modern world.
In 1977, the Aga Khan established the Aga Khan Award for Architecture, a premier award recognizing excellence in architecture that encompasses contemporary design and social, historical, and environmental considerations. It is the largest architectural award in the world.
He is the founder and Chairman of the Aga Khan Development Network, one of the largest private development networks in the world, which works towards social, economic, and cultural development in Asia and Africa. The establishment of the AKDN brought under the same umbrella a number of development agencies and institutions that The Aga Khan’s humanitarian endeavors draw inspiration from ethics of compassion, generosity, sincerity, etc.
Few of the agencies of AKDN are as under:
Aga Khan Foundation (AKF) Aga Khan Agency for Microfinance (AAKAM) Aga Khan Education Services (AKES) Aga Khan Fund for Economic Development (AKFED) Aga Khan Health Services (AKHS) Aga Khan Planning and Building Services (AKPBS) Aga Khan Trust for Culture (AKTC) Aga Khan University (AKU) The University of Central Asia (UCA) Focus Humanitarian Assistance (FOCUS), an affiliate of the AKDN, is responsible handling disasters. Recent example includes the massive earthquake in Pakistan, Oct 8, 2005. Prince Aga Khan team handled the prevailing problematic situation effectively.
He is also the Chairman of The Institute of Ismaili Studies, which he founded in 1977. This institute is one of the best Institutes, where different Islamic degrees programmes for our younger generations are being offered. The objective of IIS is to promote scholarship and learning of Muslim cultures and societies, historical as well as contemporary, and a better understanding of their relationship with other societies and faiths.
The Aga Khan has been recognized by several national and international organizations for his service to humanity. Few of them are as follows:
The Queen of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland has awarded him the title of His Highness on July 26, 1957. On August 12, 1957, the Sultan of Zanzibar invested the title of Brilliant Star of Zanzibar. It was his first visit to Pakistan with his wife when the President of Pakistan granted the title of Nishan-e-Imtiaz on January 15, 1970.
The World Monuments Fund honored the Aga Khan IV with its prestigious Hadrian Award for his vigorous and fruitful efforts to preserve and revitalize historic cities in Islamic world on October 28, 1996 at New York.
In 2003, he was named Knight Commander in the Order of the British Empire (KBE) “for services to international development, especially in Asia and Africa, and to UK-French relations.” In 2005, he was awarded the Andrew Carnegie Medal for Philanthropy, the 2005 Die Quadriga and the 2005 Vincent Scully Prize. He was also named Honorary Companion of the Order of Canada. His Highness has been awarded honorary degrees by universities in Pakistan, Canada, the United Kingdom, and the United States. He has also received numerous awards and prizes from various professional organisations in recognition of his work in architecture and the conservation of historic buildings. There are around more than 18 million followers of Prince Aga Khan throughout the world. Whatever he has done for boosting the economy of Pakistan by investing in to various sectors like hotel industry, banking, etc., are laudable. His Highness the Aga Khan donated $50-million to support rehabilitation, socio-economic development, and earthquake-preparedness in areas of the North West Frontier Province and Azad Jammu and Kashmir affected by the 8 October 2005 shock. Prince Aga Khan provided a combination of financial and technical support to the urban and rural communities in high-mountain, seismically sensitive areas in Pakistan, Afghanistan and parts of Central Asia. There are many schools, colleges and universities in Pakistan as well, which were created by him for the development of intellects in Pakistan.
Scholars have called his community, the Shia Ismaili Muslims, the most progressive, organized, schooled and financially well-off sect within Islam.
Today, he is working all over the world to eradicate the social problems. His basic concern is of Muslim brothers and sisters, for whom he works day and night for their upliftment. He is creating a positive image of Islam globally for which we salute him.
He is truly the leader of Islam in this modern world. Wish him a very happy Golden Jubilee.
How Do You Know back Someone is in Love with You?
When
Often we have to ask ourselves, does he/she really love me? Is he/she really in love with me? Am I in love with him/her? Do I really love him/her? These are questions of the heart and only you know the answer. However, there are indicators to help us understand the answer to our question of being in love and knowing when someone is in love with us.
When there is a question, there is undoubtedly an answer. It may not be the answer we are looking for, but there is an answer. The key to receiving the answer is being able to accept the truth. Sometimes we don’t want to know the truth because it hurts. It hurts because we want things our way, just like we dreamed it up. Unfortunately, life cannot always be the dream that we want it to be. Sometimes, maybe most of the time for most of us, life is not the dream we want at all, not anything close to it. It’s important to understand that love does not love anyone, it just loves love. This is why it is so easy to fall in love and so difficult to stay in love. Love is! And that is it. The Bible says that there is no greater love than this, than a man lay down his life for his friend (John chapter 15 verse 13). If this is an indicator of someone being in love then we must be able to answer the question: “Would I die for him/her?” and “would he/she die for me?”
Often in relationships people neglect to embrace the truth of who they are and therefore cannot understand themselves enough to answer questions of love. For example, I have often asked this question of someone whom I was very interested in, “What did you not know about the person you just broke up with that you learned later in the relationship?” If a person is really truthful about this, they would say exactly what they learned down the road that they did not know in the beginning of the relationship. Often it is these things we find out later about a person that makes us change our mind about being with them. The response I typically get is, “I cannot answer that question.” Or “I have to think about that?” This indicates that there is nothing that they did not know from the beginning. The next question I typically ask is even more provocative and to the point, “Did you pay attention to what you knew about the person or did you think you could change them or they would change later on in the relationship?” The answer for this one is always, “I just thought things would change.” The point here is if you are honest with yourself and the person you are interested in, and truly pay attention to who you are and what you are about, you would not allow yourself to get into relationships where you had to change something about someone or wait for them to change something about themselves. This goes to that old cliché “Be true to yourself.” This is not to say that people don’t change, rather the change should be for the better, not the worse.
You see, answering the above questions honestly will give you power to embrace the truth about you. When you know the truth about you, it will allow you to deal with others with more honesty and truth as well. Now here is the touchy part, can you ask this question of someone you are in love with and accept their answer? When you make up your mind that you are in love with someone, does that mean that they must be in love with you? If so, then you are not really in love, you are in need of a hug. You cannot force anyone to be in love with you. This is what makes many marriages fail, people try to force each other to be in love and it ends up destroying the relationship. Being in love is something that must be voluntary. Some of the books on the subject of relationships and finding someone to fall in love with and have them fall in love with you are nothing more than a cookbook for a bad relationship. The famed game of love is just that, a game. You should take note, that as in all games, there are winners and losers. However, you should also know that “Love” is not a game, it is a life style and you need to be able to commit to that life style like a religion, with your mate, and like wise your mate must be able to commit to you in the same way.
How
There is nothing more to knowing if that man or that woman is in love with you or if you are in love with them. There is no secret, there is no game, there is only the truth. The truth is being willing to die for that person and that person being willing to die for you. In a since that is what marriage is all about: “Two people dying as individuals and becoming a new person together. Working together, pulling together, pushing together and being in love together for ever.”
Now the term “die” does not mean that you will actually go through with it at some point and end your life. God willing both of you will live a long time and be happy together. However, it does mean that when it comes to satisfying each other and making each other happy that you would put your inhibitions aside (kill your fears and worries) and do what is necessary to make your mate happy and like wise your mate must be able to do the same for you. If there is no reciprocity, then there is no love. Reciprocity does not mean a quid pro quo. In other words, never get into a situation where you only will do what your mate will do for you. This is not love. Sometimes you will give more then your mate and other times your mate will give more than you. This is how it will always be. There is no such thing as 50/50 love. Forget that Teddy Pendergrass song from back in the day, it only sounds good. When you find yourself giving more than your mate, just remember, this is the person you are in love with and this person is in love with you. The Bible says that “charity covers a multitude of sins” (I Peter Chapter 4 Verse 8 KJV). The definition of “charity” is: lenient judgment of others. You must be willing and able to have lenient judgment of the person you are in love with. Be willing to grow with your mate through communication when mistakes are made. This is an on going thing, it never ends as long as you both live.
Why
The Bible explains the greatest thing is charity: “And now abide faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity (I Corinthians Chapter 13 verse 13 KJV).” It also says “And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. (I Corinthians Chapter 13 verse 2 KJV)” When you consider what charity brings to a relationship, if you cannot show charity between each other, but everything else is simply wonderful, your relationship really is nothing.
Last, but not least, a clear indicator of someone being in love with you is when they can keep other people out of your personal relationship with them. Your friends and family may mean well, but you are not in love with them and they apparently cannot be in love with you like your mate. Otherwise, why do you even need to be with your mate? Keep your friends and family, but keep them out of your relationship when it comes to making yourself and your mate happy. A good Bible scripture for this is Mathew Chapter 6 verses 3 and 4: “But when you do a charitable deed, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, that your charitable deed may be in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will Himself reward you openly.”
Everyone does not need to be a mentor or counselor in your relationship with your mate. Learn how to keep most intimate things between you and your mate to yourself. I am not talking about abusive things, just personal things that should only be between you two.
You can tell when someone is in love with you when they are willing to consistently show charity and demonstrate unselfishness toward you and your needs. This does not mean that you should take kindness for weakness. This would be a big mistake. Often people show charity and love for their mate, but the mate takes it for granted and begins simply ignoring the truth of true love. Love just loves love and if love does not receive love back, then it will soon find another love. This again is a form of being able to die for them and they should reciprocate willing to die for you (die in the sense of putting there own selfishness aside to make you happy and you being able to do the same for them) with cheerfulness.
Whether Hinduism is a Monotheistic Or Polytheistic Religion?
Hinduism is believed to a polytheistic religion. It is said that Hinduism has 330 millions of Gods. Hence there is a different God for every person and there is God for every purpose. At the same time, Hinduism is also a Monotheistic Religion as the word “Bhagwan” is considered to represent all Gods. In every temple, there are many statues of Gods while in Churches, we have the statue of Jesus Christ only as the representation of God. The Mosques have no statues as Islam believes that God cannot be represented in any physical form. The same is true for Judaism.
Most of the Hindus, however, do not consider Gods as separate but give equal respect to every form of God. They are so used to worshiping Gods in different forms that even when they visit a church they bow their head before the Statue of Jesus Christ as if He is their own God. There may be more Hindus than Buddhist who may be visiting Buddhist Temples and Monasteries. Many people consider Buddha too as Incarnation of God Vishnu and worship Him with the same religious feelings.
The fundamental belief in Hinduism is that God is One who is often called Brahma. However, there are many manifestations of God as no human being can visualize One God due to the limitation of human imagination. So Hindus developed the concept of the Trinity of God viz. Brahman (God of Creation), Vishnu (God of Preservation) and Shiva (God of Destruction). Then they have many smaller Gods like Indra etc.
In the ancient scriptures of Vedas, Gods were called “Devas” which means “One who gives”. Thus Hindus worshiped everyone and everything which gave them something. So they worshiped even rivers, stones, trees, animals like cows since they call gave something to the human beings. They worshiped sun, moon, air, light, sky since they all gave men something.
However, the polytheism created confusion and even conflict between the people who worshiped different Gods. Hence Upanishads explained that God is only one but He is manifested in millions of “forms”.
The unity of divinities is a difficult concept which can be explained with an example. God can be compared with Universe which is surely One. However, no one can visualize Universe. So we have divided them into Galaxies, Stars and Solar Systems. The division is merely for the sake of convenience just like we divide the human body into different parts, thought they essentially pertain to the same body and they are One only. The different “forms” of Gods are only because no one can understand the One God.
Most of the Hindus believe in the concept of the Unity of God even when they are worshiping different Gods. Hence it makes no difference to them if they have worshiped Krishna, Rama, Vishnu, Shiva or Brahma, Buddha or Jesus. The images of Gods have actually no meaning for them as they know that they are worshiping a Supreme Power and there cannot be more than one Supreme.
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6 Tips For a Better Singing Voice
I believe that singing is an inbuilt part of the human mind and soul. For countless years the act of singing has been at the forefront of art, religion, social changes and of course love. We all have a desire to let flow with a burst of air and noise that lifts the soul and transports an emotive message be it from the screaming energetic rock anthem to the operatic tones of more studied precise singers.
We are not all born with a natural talent though but with practice anyone can take their instinctual desire to sing and become very good at it. Here are some tips for a better singing voice that can help you professionally, at the karaoke bar or even in the shower for your own enjoyment!
1. Control breathing
One mistake many singers make is to hold their breath while singing instead of letting the air flow through them. If you hold your breath tight you can never achieve a natural sound nor will you be able to achieve any great volume and it makes hitting the right tone harder as well. To combat this you must learn diaphragmatic breathing. This means you must breathe in to the lower part of your lungs by breathing deep and not shallow. This is not the same as belly breathing but should press out on your lower ribcage as you breathe in. There are many breathing exercises you can learn to help you achieve this such as lying down and placing a hand on the upper chest and a hand on the lower chest under the ribcage. When you breathe in the hand on the upper chest should not move and the hand on the lower chest should go up and down.
2. Use a Mirror
Mirrors are wonderful devices to help you improve your singing voice. By singing in front of a mirror you can watch your posture, your facial contortions and your breathing and determine what is and is not working. Try changing your posture and the way you use your face and mouth when you sing in front of a mirror and listen to the different sounds you make as you experiment. You will be surprised what straightening your back or opening your mouth wider can do to your voice once you see these things in the mirror.
3. Develop a natural voice
When starting to sing it is easy to imitate and copy your favorite style and singer and it is not a bad way to start. To become a better singer though you need to realize you have to have your own style. Everyone is different physically and psychologically and these things mean your styles will never match anyone else’s totally. Do not be afraid to sing without preconceptions, try singing to other songs outside your usual niche and try not to imitate accents and exact styles of others and let your true voice be brought forth. This may sound very strange to you to start with but when you sing naturally you can achieve notes, tones and emotions you could never do while restricted.
4.Quit…
Quit smoking, quit drinking heavily and quit yelling or talking too loudly or too frequently. This may be very hard but your voice is a delicate instrument and needs to be taken care of or it will lose its edge and falter. If you are looking for that raspy style refer to the previous point, if you don’t already have it don’t try please!
5. Be emotive
Music and singing is about emotions; it conveys stories, feelings, color, strength and weakness. While knowing how to read music and understanding the clinical technical aspects of any music if you are a singer or musician and you cannot let your feelings rush into your breath and spread it through your words and sound you can never be a great singer. Learn to sing to a vision or emotion, forget about the technicalities of a song as some of the greatest music comes from the raw, ragged feral yell that may destroy the technically perfect aspects of a song but inject it with so much vitality and life it transcends the mundane and buries itself within your heart and echoes through your soul. If this sounds too dramatic you may need more work on this part of your singing.
6. Practice!
There is no talent so great that did not need a massive amount of time to achieve. Without constant singing and testing your limits you may never realize your dreams of becoming a better singer. With practice comes an increase in range if you continually hunt higher or lower notes, it will ingrain good breathing into your performances and you will develop your style a lot more with confidence also. Make times to sing. Sing in the shower. Sing brushing your hair. Sing making dinner. Sing and feel the enjoyment of singing wherever you can as well as more formal sessions of practice and you will naturally evolve and don’t be afraid to be heard!
I hope these tips for a better singing voice can help you develop a confident natural style you can be proud of in any endeavor you apply your skills to and never stop living with music in your heart and soul!
Year of the Dragon – 2012
In Chinese tradition, every year is dedicated to a particular animal. The 12 animals that are a part of this tradition are the Dragon, the Horse, the Monkey, the Rat, the Boar, the Rabbit, the Dog, the Rooster, the Ox, the Tiger, the Snake and the Ram. Each of these animals is believed to bestow its characteristics to individuals who are born in its year.
According to the Chinese astrology 2012 is the Year of the Dragon. And true to the animal’s nature, the Year of the Dragon is expected to be marked with excitement, exhilaration, intensity and unpredictability. The drama and spirit of the dragon is expected to inject vitality, energy and unbridled enthusiasm which could easily lead individuals to throwing caution to the wind. It is especially important to take care this year, and avoid unnecessary risks that could lead to tragedy.
The dragon year is a special year for excellence and Chinese astrology dictates that dragon people are expected to excel during this year. The Year of the Dragon is special in many ways. For one, you will find that the dragon is the only unreal animal featured in the Chinese zodiac year. What’s more, the dragon is revered and has a special place in Chinese astrology. In fact, the dragon is generally of special significance to Chinese people.
History
The Year of the Dragon can trace its origins to over 4,000 years ago. During this time, China was formed by two very large tribes and many smaller tribes. An animal represented each one of these tribes. When the two larger tribes decided to unite, they decided that their emblem would be the dragon as a symbol of power. Today, Han Chinese still call themselves descendants of the dragon.
The Dragon
Because its body comprises of parts from different types of animals including fish, tiger, eagle and snake, the dragon is regarded as a powerful and mighty king in Chinese astrology. Unlike the perception in the west of a threatening evil being, the Chinese dragon is regarded more as a symbol of power, protection, authority and superiority. As a result, in many places in China, you will find numerous sculptures and carvings of dragons.
The Dragon Personality and Dragon People
Chinese astrology deems a dragon person as special. As such, individuals who are born in the Chinese Year of the Dragon typically stand out and enjoy a status befitting a dragon. Such persons are generally regarded as being wise and powerful. They are not shy, but instead command respect and attention with their passion, courage and self-confidence. In short, dragon people have a certain aura about them and seem to enjoy very good fortune.
Dragon people are generally regarded as doers as they are able to achieve power by taking action and getting things done. These individuals at best will have pioneering spirits, but at worst, their foolhardiness will easily get them into trouble. Dragon individuals are smart, enterprising and generally have a wicked sense of humor. If you want to remain updated on the latest trends, consult dragon people as they have a flair for fashion. Just as the fire-breathing dragon, dragon people are generally thought to be hotheads. It is therefore wise to steer clear of them in the event that they get angry!
In contrast however, because dragons have soft underbellies, dragon people are thought to have soft spots as well. As such, you may find a dragon person easily angered, yet capable of great compassion for those who are in need of their help. This contrast is further illustrated by dragon people who can be confronting, but if you touch their soft hearts, they quickly become worthwhile allies. In addition, they are generous – although this is a positive thing, it can easily turn problematic when they become foolhardy with money.
Dragons have long tongues which they often bare and make visible. In turn, dragon people are generally said to have sharp tongues that make them say things that can be very sarcastic and biting to whomever they are directed to.
2012: The Year of the Dragon
The Year of the Dragon 2012 will begin on January 23rd this year, which marks the beginning of 15 days of celebration. January 23rd is actually the Chinese New Year or Lunar New Year which typically occurs in the early months of January or February.
In accordance with the Chinese horoscope 2012 will be ushering in the Water Dragon. The water works in calming the innate fire of the dragon. As such, water dragon people are more open to others opinions and are better able to channel their charisma into leadership qualities. Celebrities born in the Year of the Dragon include Al Pacino, John Lennon, Matt Dillon, Marlene Dietrich and Ringo Starr.
If you were born in a Chinese Year of the Dragon, then according to feng shui 2012 is your year. But what does this mean? Well, first, you should double your efforts in whatever you do – be it your work, studies or any other projects you may be working on. And once you do this, you will find that your natural abilities and talents will easily stand out and enable you to achieve great results. It is also important to watch your temper in 2012 to avoid ruining all your hard work this year.
The Dragon and Love
Because dragons are passionate, they tend to fall in and out of love just as quickly. With their charm and charisma, they are able to easily draw the attention and admiration of individuals of the opposite sex which is what dragon people crave. While they tend to treat love like a game, when they meet the right partner who is strong enough to match their strength, they can settle down.
Wealth in the Year of the Dragon
If you are looking to start a business or begin a new project, the Year of the Dragon is the time to do it. This is because money is more easily accessible for everyone this year – whether you earn, borrow or receive it as a gift. However, avoid unreasonable expenditures as you will have to account for these once the Year of the Dragon comes to an end.
Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You – Matthew 7:12
It Is a really simple rule that Jesus has given us here. He says that within it contains all the Law and the prophets commands. What a genius Jesus was.
OUR TEXT:
Matthew 7:12 (New King James Version)
12 Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.
Have you ever had someone buy you a meal when you did not have a lot of money? Do you remember the feeling of eating that meal and how wonderful it was that you did not have to buy it?
This is what Jesus wants you to do for other people when you have money. He wants you to spend your time and resources on other people to give them a better quality of life.
There are so many people in your neighborhood that have real pressing needs that they are struggling to meet. It only takes a little research and a little kindness and thoughtfulness to affect a person’s life that would be very happy that you did.
Take today. At my community centre that caters for poor people a man was purchasing a coffee and a cup of tea for one dollar. I was at the counter also ordering a coffee and so I asked the lady in the kitchen to take it all out of my two dollars. The man was shocked and genuinely thankful.
Many times people have bought me an espresso coffee that costs $3.70, what was $1.00 to me one day after my day I was paid my pension.
This rule extends to all things. In fact, as Jesus says, if we do this we are living and abiding in Him.
If you like people to treat you with respect and not to judge you, this is the behavior that you should have with other people. We should accept people where they are in life without condemnation and judgment.
If we like people not to gossip about us and tell everyone our business, we should likewise not participate in gossip or talking about other people. When someone that we know wants to talk in a negative way about someone that we know, we should cut them off and say that we don’t want to hear any bad things about that person.
If we like people to give us praise for the good things that we do, we too should be people of praise that give people positive feedback on the things that they do.
If you don’t like sarcasm, even when people are doing it within a joke and laughing, you should not ever participate in it yourself, which would cut you from saying many jokes.
Even though this command is a little one, you can be sure that it has wider applications then just the ones that I have mentioned.
If you don’t like pressure from companies that you owe money to, you shouldn’t put pressure on people that you have loaned money to, to pay you back fast.
It just goes on and on. It applies to all aspects of life as you can imagine. I hope I have given you food for thought.
Organizational Culture Change: Is It Really Worth the Effort?
Much has been written about changing organizational culture. It’s an exciting topic because of the enormous potential benefits derived from changing an organization’s culture. While exciting because of its enormous potential, attempting to change organizational culture can lead to enormous frustration.
It is important to understand how deeply the roots of organizational culture go. Organizational culture is rooted in the shared tacit assumptions of the organization. These tacit beliefs drive behavior throughout the organization.
Edgar Schein believes organizational culture provides members of the organization “stability, consistency, and meaning.” The change agent who threatens those three things will surely meet strong resistance.
Schreyoegg, Oechsler, and Waechter (three German researchers) believe organizational culture provides members with a worldview: how to perceive, how to conceptualize, and how to make decisions.
In my book, “Strategic Organizational Change,” I offered six reasons for organizational culture’s stubborn resistance to change:
1. it is implicit rather than explicit
2. it is woven into everyday practice
3. it leads to uniform thinking and behavior
4. it is historically rooted
5. it guides all decision making
6. it is used to socialize newcomers
The main reason changing organizational culture is so difficult is that it resides in the dark, unexamined recesses of the corporate mind. The unexamined assumptions that make up the organizational culture have not been questioned in years.
We know that most organizational culture change efforts fail. We know that organizational culture changes that succeed only do so after a frustrating uphill-battle against the status quo. We know that powerful organizational members have a vested interest in maintaining the status quo.
So, my question to you is this: Should an organization spend its limited resources (time, energy, and money) to change the organization’s culture? My answer is “yes.” Let me explain.
Organizational culture change is necessary to support almost all organizational change efforts (strategic, structural, or process). Organizational change efforts will fail if organizational culture remains fundamentally the same. The effectiveness of organizational change efforts requires embedding improvement strategies in the organizational culture.
Changes in procedures remain superficial and short-lived unless there are fundamental changes in values, ways of thinking, and approaches to problem solving. The resisting forces will simply renew their efforts to re-establish the old status quo.
Cameron and Quinn bluntly state, “The status quo will prevail. We repeat! Without culture change, there is little hope of enduring improvement in organizational performance.”
Cameron and Quinn offer the following hints for change agents:
1. Find something easy to change first.
2. Build coalitions of supporters.
3. Set targets for incremental completions.
4. Share information/reduce rumors.
5. Define how results will be measured.
6. Reward desired behaviors.
Organizational cultural change can be slow and frustrating, but the benefits can include dramatically improved organizational performance.
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Christians and Santa Claus
For Christians, Christmas has become one of our most sacred holidays and rightfully so. It is a time when we come together with friends and family to celebrate the birth of our lord and savior Jesus Christ. However, there is one subject that tends to cause confusion among Christians every year; Santa Claus. Many Christians fill that adding Santa to the celebrations takes away from Jesus, while others see him as a harmless part of childhood fantasy. So which is correct?
As with nearly every type of confusion this one is generally based in the lack of knowledge. We see the jolly man dressed in red and fail to try to understand how he came to be. To gain a proper perspective on Santa Claus we first need to look at the celebration of Christmas it’s self.
In the early Christian churches the birth of Jesus was not celebrated, only his death, burial, and resurrection. The birth of Jesus was not celebrated until the 4th century. Also, evidence shows that Jesus was actually born in the spring time. The church leaders of the 4th century decided to hold the celebration on the 25th in order to gain popularity among the many other winter celebrations going on in that day. Christmas continued for a while until in the 17th century the Puritans actually cancelled the celebration because they found no basis for it in the Bible. For nearly 100 years there was no country wide Christmas celebration allowed in the newly founded United States, only pockets of rebels. In the 1820s stores saw Christmas as a good time to advertise and began doing so. By the 1840s it had became a wide spread practice. Even though Christmas had gained popularity again, it did not become a federal holiday until June 26, 1870.
These facts are important because we need to know why we do what we do. If we celebrate something just because we think that is the way it has always been done, then we can miss the true meaning. We can see that even the Puritans started getting so wrapped up in their legalistic views that they missed the true meaning of the celebration. It’s also interesting to note that commercializing Christmas played a large part in making it a federal holiday.
Now that we have a proper perspective on Christmas we can move on to Santa. The legend on Santa Claus can be trace back to a monk named St. Nicholas that lived hundreds of years ago. The name Santa Claus actually evolved from Nick’s Dutch name, Sinter Klaas, a shortened form of Sint Nikolaas (Dutch for Saint Nicholas). St. Nicholas was known for his charitable giving, especially to the children.
In the 1840s stores started using a live Santa to lure children, and their parents, into their store. This was extremely successful. By the 1890s the Salvation Army began to dress their employees up like Santa to earn the money needed for the free meals they gave to needy families.
With our celebrations today the problem is not whether or not to include Santa Claus. The problem is more centered on trying to use a holiday to teach our children about Jesus. We should be teaching our children about Jesus all year. They should know his story from beginning to end and all that he does for us in everyday life. If this has been taught all year long, then Christmas can be a time of not only celebrating the birth of Jesus, but also the Spirit of giving as represented by Santa Claus. If having your children believe in the story of Santa Claus bothers you, remember that often times children learn through stories like these. The important thing is that they start to understand how it feels to give. You can use Christmas morning to explain to them that how they feel at that moment is how others feel when they give to them.
Instead of getting stuck on just our actions we need to look deeper at our motives. If we keep Christ in all our lives, and not just Christmas, the holidays can be a great time spent enjoying many of the modern customs we have today without going against our faith. Children should learn all year that every good thing comes from God above. This knowledge will help put Santa Claus into the proper perspective for your children. History has proven that commercializing something is not always a bad thing. If combined with the proper knowledge it can help spread the good news of God’s son Jesus Christ.